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Image courtesy of Paramount Pictures |
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First, we had the original Shrek, which was greatness. Then, they fed us Shrek 2, and it was pretty good for a sequel. Now, good old fashioned capitalism has forced Paramount and DreamWorks to bestow Shrek the Third upon us. How does it compare to the first two ogre flicks? Eh…let’s just say it has the opposite problem of most sequels. Writer Andrew Adamson apparently spent so much time developing a new story for the big green guy and his assortment of goofy sidekicks he forgot the one key ingredient that made Shrek so gosh darn loveable in the first place – he forgot to make him funny this time.
Maybe I should rephrase that. The first 10 minutes of the movie are funny when Shrek is caught having someone else scratch his ass for him; and, the last 5 minutes are funny when Shrek and Fiona welcome their new bundle of stinky joy into the swamp. But, what’s left of the remaining 75 minutes is nothing more than a plot that’s seriously lacking in visual gags or memorable one-liners. Unfortunately, funny is what you need in a comedy, especially an animated comedy that’s geared for the under 10 crowd.
Instead, Adamson borrows the Happily N’Ever After plot by having all the fairy tale meanies join forces against the powers of good, then adds some walking trees courtesy of The Lord of the Rings, The Two Towers and finishes things off with a little Arthurian legend courtesy of Arthur Pendragon (AKA “Artie”), Merlin, Lancelot, and Guinevere. Talk about a plethora of fairy tale postmodernism! Because the narrative was so well written, Shrek the Third didn’t make me want to run screaming for the nearest theatre exit, but it did make me wonder what in the hell happened to Donkey’s smart mouth.
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Image courtesy of Paramount Pictures |
Things get rolling in this third green mess when the frog King (John Cleese) names Shrek (Mike Myers) and Fiona (Cameron Diaz) as heirs to his throne right before he croaks. Being the socially inept ogre he is, Shrek turns his nose up at the offer and sets out to find the only other heir to Far Far Away, Fiona’s cousin Artie (Justin Timberlake). |
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Of course, Shrek can’t make the journey alone, so Donkey (Eddie Murphy) and Puss in Boots (Antonio Banderas) tag along to keep him in line. Eventually, the three of them find the wimpy, sniveling, teenage Artie being mercilessly picked on at Worcestershire (like the sauce) High School by a couple of high school nerds. After convincing Artie, he’s the rightful heir to the throne, Shrek and crew seek out the pantless Merlin (Eric Idle), Artie’s former magic teacher who had a nervous breakdown, to help them return to Far Far Away…with a few side effects.
In the meantime, Prince Charming (Rupert Everett), now a dinner theatre hack, decides to use Shrek’s absence to his advantage by rallying together all the disgruntled fairy tale baddies to help him usurp the empty throne. Before long, Fiona finds herself imprisoned with the Queen (Julie Andrews), Doris (Larry King), Snow White (Amy Pohler), Cinderella (Amy Sedaris), Rapunzel (Maya Rudolph), and Sleeping Beauty (Cheri Oteri). To make a long story short, Shrek returns, Charming is defeated, and Fiona pops out a little baby ogre…or two…or three.
Is it ever going to end? Not anytime soon. Shrek 4 comes out in 2010, and Diaz and Andrews are insisting that an eco-friendly message be incorporated into the Ogre’s next adventure. Great. Does that mean Al Gore is going to be the voice of Ursula the polluting sea witch? Gee, after the fourth installment, we still have Puss in Boots: The Story of an Ogre Killer to look forward to. Whoop-te-freakin-do! Hey Paramount, here’s an idea: Just kill the ogre now and get it over with? Oh, wait…that’s right…you can’t. People are still buying all that ridiculous Shrek merchandise you keep feeding them in the name of capitalism.
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How long will it be ‘til we’re bombarded with baby ogres burping, farting, and puking everywhere? I’m already having nightmares about this year’s Christmas season when hoards of idiots start fist fighting over Tickle-Me ogres.
Yep, the Donkey’s ass says it all. How perfect is that?
© Kelly Bartley 2007 |
Image courtesy of Paramount Pictures |
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Running Time: |
1 hr. 33 min. |
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Release Date: |
May 18, 2007 (wide) |
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MPAA Rating: |
PG (crude humor, suggestive content, and swashbuckling action) |
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Distributor: |
Paramount Pictures |
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